Does It Really Matter?
by AllThePreciousPiecesAreGone
Summary: How did this happen? How did things get this bad? How am I still falling apart, when all I am is pieces? Did God honestly think I could take this much? Did he honestly think I wouldn't fall through the seams. Its then that I remember… (Song-fic)


**Hey guys, I'm here with a sad song-fic. I hope y'all like it, and this is my first story, so please review and tell me what you thought about it. Thanks. :)**

**_Kim's P.o.v._**

I had left. I had told her friends she would be gone for only a few months. She thought that they had cared about her. I thought they would remember me. I never would have guessed they would forget about me only moments later. All but one had forgotten, but it didn't matter because the one person that remembered was the one person that had hurt her the most. But I still loved him, even after all he had done.

**They don't seem to know your name**

**Does it really matter?**

I walked into school the next day only to find that I had been replaced. I walked up to them and said "Hey." They just looked at me and walked away, like they didn't even know me. And they didn't. I had wanted to cry, but I couldn't, and I wouldn't because I was stronger than that; I didn't want people to think I was I wasn't.

**They don't even shed a tear, for you**

The day slowly ended. Once the final bell rang, I slowly walked home thinking. I was thinking about how much I had cried the day I was leaving for 3 months. They didn't shed a single tear for me. It didn't matter to them. I didn't matter to them. That hurt. To know that they didn't care enough.

**They didn't seem to waste no time**

**To fill your locker**

When I went into the office this morning to get my schedule I had gotten a new locker. They had filled mine the day after I left. They didn't have to waste any time, I just wasn't worth anything to them, to anyone.

**They don't give a second thought, to you**

They don't think about me. Ever. I thought about them everyday of my life, and They haven't thought about me once. That had stung. They were my friends, yet they didn't care that I was gone. Everything that had happened today I said was because of one thing. But I wasn't sure what it was. And I was starting to think I had been lying to myself all this time. And I was.

**Oh, things have gotta change**

I want everything to change, but it won't because I can't make them care, I can't make them change their opinion of me. I thought being away only for a few months they would have at least remembered who I was. I was their best friend, but things changed in the past, and they won't just change back like a fairy tale.

**_Jack's P.o.v_**

**I'm sorry that I never said**

**How much you had really meant**

**It's hard to say but now you're gone**

**So does it really matter?**

I never told her. I never told her that I love her, Never told her that I had loved her from the beginning. I never told her what she had really meant to me. And I couldn't tell her because she had left, so did it really matter? It did matter because she's back now, and I can't tell her.

**I'm sorry that I never tried**

**To tell you I was on your side**

**Now you're gone**

I never told her that I was on her side for every argument she had with her friends. I never told her that I would always help her and be there for her but now I can't be here for her because she is gone, and I don't know if she will ever come back.

**_Kim's P.o.v_**

**You're spending all your time alone**

**Cause you don't need them**

I don't talk to them anymore. Im better off without them if they can't even remember my name. But I still love him. But he won't care. They all changed, their no longer the loving friends I use to know, but instead are the ones that don't care about anything or anyone but themselves. So I spend all my time alone because I don't need them.

**No one can see the pain inside, of you**

**You just wanna say goodbye**

**You're giving up now**

No one can see all the pain inside of me, no one can see how much it hurt me when my own friends didn't recognize me. I want to say good-bye because its not worth being invisible to the people that I once trusted my life with. Im giving up now. But I want to give up because of the one person that means everything to me. But he doesn't care about me anymore so why does he mean so much to me. I think I might love him, but I can't because he doesn't even think about me, he hasn't talked to me in the 3 weeks that i've been back.

**I think the letter says it all, it's not your fault**

**Oh, things will never change**

I wrote a letter. It says its not his fault. Even though it is. Im giving up now because it hurts to much to see them everyday in the hall way. It brings back all the good memories and I want to walk up to him and say hey, but then I remember. We aren't friends anymore. And then I let silent tears stream down my cheeks. How did this happen? How did things get this bad? How am I still falling apart, when all I am is pieces? Did God honestly think I could take this much? Did he honestly think I wouldn't fall through the seams. Its then that I remember I could end it. It wouldn't be as bad a predicament, as I'm in now. So, I run to the basement, and grab a gun. I load it, and sit there with it pointed at my chest. Should I really end it all, I start to think I shouldn't, but its then that I remember, I have no one. Ive been here for everyone, but when I need someone to help me, everyone is unavailable. Its then that I hit the trigger, with one thought in my head, "How could they?"

**_Jack's P.o.v._**

**I'm sorry that I never said**

**How much you had really meant**

**It's hard to say but now you're gone**

**So does it really matter?**

It's been a while since I've seen her. I wonder if she's okay without me? I wonder if she's moved on? I wonder if she thinks I've forgotten her. She quit talking to us. I don't know why. I know the others didn't remember her, but I did, and it hurt that she thinks I had forgotten her, but in all truth, I acted like I had, like I didn't care, because I wanted to be like my friends. I never told her How much she meant, how much I love her, now she's gone. Im just a memory, and it doesn't matter anymore, she seems happy.

**I'm sorry that I never tried**

**To tell you I was on your side**

**It's hard to say but now you're gone**

**So does it really matter?**

I decided I was going to see her, I was going to apologize, I was going to tell her I'm sorry that I never tried to tell you I was on your side. Im sorry that I never tried to help you, when I saw you needed it. Im sorry. After I arrived at her house, no one answered the door, so I walked in. I headed to the basement, but what I saw was so much worse than her not forgiving me. She was lying on the floor with a gun in her hand, and a letter on her chest. The only thing the letter said was "Its not your fault." It's like she knew I was going to blame it on myself. I would, I knew she was depressed even if I hadn't admitted it to myself. I called the cops, told them what happened, waited until they arrived, then I took her to bury her. I wanted to at least give her a proper burial, if I couldn't give her anything else.

**Did it hurt as much that day**

**As every other?**

**So I light a candle in, your name**

After I buried her, I went and brought a candle, and some matches. I lit the candle, and watched it burn. It reminded me of her. She used to be so happy, so care free, but the candle started to burn out, just like her. She started to lose her spark, her will, and I never noticed, I was to busy watching her burn, to notice her die, and thats my fault, I wonder if it hurt when she killed herself, or if it felt like relief, to be out of this cruel world. I wonder if it hurt her as much as we did, or if it brought her more happiness than we did. I wonder if she wanted to burn out, I wonder what her thought were as she was holding the gun. I wonder if the thought of me was enough to make her actually kill herself. I wonder if she knows how much I blame myself for her death. I wonder if she still loves me after all Ive done to hurt her.

**I'm sorry that I never said**

**How much you had really meant**

**It's hard to say but now you're gone**

**So does it really matter?**

Im sorry that I never said how much you had really meant, it doesn't matter anymore you're gone. You're not ever coming back, but if there was a chance you would, I would tell you I love you, I would never let you go, and I would never forgive myself for hurting you. But thats the difference, fairytales don't happen. You won't be back, and ill forgive myself, because you would want that. As much as it hurts you would want me to move on, to find someone ill love more than I ever loved you, but then I start thinking "If you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back, then that love had to be real. It hurt to much to be anything else. She really loved me, but it doesn't matter anymore, because you're gone, and I'm alone, again.

**I'm sorry that I never tried**

**To tell you I was on your side**

**It's hard to say but now you're gone**

**So does it really matter?**

Im sorry, that I never tried to tell you I was on your side. Its hard to say, but now you're really gone, and I didn't try to stop you. Im the one who pushed you to do it. You knew I would eventually come looking for you, and you knew I would find your body, and the note, so yeah it is my fault, but that doesn't, matter, because you're gone, I couldn't stop it, and you wouldn't want me to. You would want me to find someone better. Find someone ill love twice as much as I loved you, laugh twice as hard as I did with you, and someone, I won't hurt as many times as I hurt you.

**It's hard to say but now you're gone**

**To me it really matters**

**Does it really matter?**

Its been a year, I still love you, but you're really gone. To me it really mattered, why did you have to do it? I would have helped you, I would have been there. To other people it never mattered, they went on with their daily lives, but I didn't. I cried everyday. I wanted to help you, but now you're gone, _to me it really mattered,_ but Does it Really Matter?

**Hey guys, How did you like it? This is my first story, and Im thinking about making it a collection of one shots. What do y'all think? Please review Id love to know halls thoughts. I think I may start a full story, so would y'all read it? **

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